missing

OK. It's official. I'm missing my wife and little one, Cole. We're on Spring Break and Jen and Cole have gone to Oregon for a week. I'm at home with Sebastian (Suz, Dave and Emma too). We're heading down to DC on Wends day with Suzi and Emma for a show at The Avalon on Saturday. It's gonna be a big family concert and I'm excited because Dallas, my step-dad, will be sitting in a couple of songs. It'll be the first time that we'll have three generations playing together!

Gee, since having the last few quiet days without the constant interruptions from Cole....and Jen have been nice and I got so much done: remodeled the living room and office, fixed bathroom, and slept. Now, I'd like to have them back! Its not the same...it's too quiet.

It's amazing to have an 11 year old. Sebastian is now at an age where he's self-reliant. I really don't have to worry about him starving or entertaining him. He's all good! And having two homes, he's good with getting what he needs from each place....and at our place it's down-time. We're supposed to be rehearsing for our shows on Sat., but we're a little lazy. I'm sure we'll get to it later this afternoon. We're on vacation.

just another weekend

OK, I have to get the hang of this blogging thing. It takes dedication to write what I'm thinking everyday...it takes dedication for me just to think, well in a clean-don't-freak-out-the-world kinda way! But, it's been a busy 48 hours since I last typed-out our adventures.

The weekend was a blur because there was no down time. Suz and I had a gig in Jersey City on Friday afternoon, while Jen and Dave juggled the kids and their schedules and activities: fencing, the Theatre and Ice Skating. Suz and I performed in a little cafe/bakery for kids and their parents. Very cute and fun...it was a promotional thing that Suzi's agent suggested to get her out in the NJ community. We had a great time playing together-we always do. And because of it, got more gigs out of it. We rushed back to Brooklyn so I could take Sebastian Ice Skating with his school-Brooklyn Prospect. I was tirrrrred. But you gotta do it. He was excited, but as we were walking out the door he asks, "is anyone else going?" I answered, "just me...am I not enough?" He replies, "yeah, but it would be more fun if someone else came too". I tiredly responded, "look, you get me or nothing!" He smiled and said, "you're just fine Daddy". We did have a great time going round and round. I got to see him with his friends. He really is an amazing kid. He doesn't have a clique that he belongs to, like other kids. He really does his own thing and is comfortable going in and out of groups. He's so much better adjusted than I was at his age!

Saturday rolled by quickly again. I had early morning duty twice this weekend. Hey, I just realized that! Anyway, I had Cole early Saturday wanting attention (Jen had a late night at the theatre seeing Ethan Hawke's new play). So we went into the kitchen to make pancakes. Sebastian and Jen got to sleep in. I got to say, we had a blast. It was a beautiful morning and we listened to the new Vampire Weekend album really loud (yeah, I said Album)! I guess the smell of pancakes wafting through the apartment got the rest up and eventually all were in the kitchen. That afternoon, I had another gig with suz in the Upper West Side. A birthday party. I haven't played one of these gigs in awhile. There's a lot of smiling to be done. It was fun, but took the whole afternoon AND it was the eve of Suzi's birthday so we had all the kids this night. Dave was taking Suzi out to a special dinner and...something. By the time we all settled down for dinner, I had a big glass of wine while the kids just laughed and laughed. They really love each other, even though they constantly get on each other's nerve-especially Cole and Emma. Sebastian is the best BIG brother, trying to make peace and then quickly walking away shaking his head. Cole and Emma can be a handful! Night time came quickly after the bath that left the entire bathroom soaked. I was exhausted and fell asleep quickly with Jen.

Early Sunday morning Cole came into our bed around 4am and then Emma around 7:30. I took both of them into the kitchen for...Pancakes! We had a blast. I was tired, but it was beautiful outside and they helped me cook, or at least kept busy while I cooked. We had decided we were going to the Prospect Park Zoo the day before. So we ate, got dressed and went to pick up Emeka, our baby sitter's oldest son (14) to hang out with us for the day. It was a full car and lots of kid energy. The zoo is a favorite with the our family. It's in 'hood and lots to do for all ages.

After we dropped Emeka off, we went to the Cake shop to get Suz her favorite cake-Brooklyn Blackout, an all chocolate cake! Yum! We finally made it over to their place, after a quick detour to our place to get all the home-made birthday cards the kids had made that morning. We "surprised" Suzi with cake and singing.

Wow. What a weekend. Next weekend we go to Pennsylvania for a show. At least no birthdays!

Mr. Oscar

Damn. I do have a lot to write about, but the Oscars are on and well...I'm being lazy. It was an amazing weekend.

ADD or...

Gray hairs, our cleaning lady, ravioli, child support, homework, my fat belly...I can't seem to focus on one topic to write about. They're all important in my mind. Maybe that's the problem. I've been obsessed with ADD lately. I've had the suspicion that I have it and from everything I've been researching and reading, I fall into "yes" category. My analyst thinks maybe, but then again most Americans have some sort of ADD, he says and It's true. It just depends on the degree or severity. I've been reading this great book, Scattered, by Dr. Gabor Mate. Who didn't realize he had ADD until his 40's. And he was practicing doctor. My obsession of course has to do with being a parent and passing this down to my kids. Apparently, my family disposition (genes) is primed for this: depression, alcoholism, addictive tendencies, etc.

My journey has been to better myself and to be the best parent I can be, or the best MODEL for my family that I can be. This can be tough when I have to follow through on tasks that I can't complete and then expect others (my kids)to do better. I've come to realize that it's all a work in progress. Just like the Theatre, there is an organic process and you have to trust yourself. So, I believe I'm off to another project. Maybe I will practice my bass for the shows I have with Suzi this weekend or I will...

Hump Day

It's the middle of the week and I feel like it's Friday. I had a wonderful day teaching Shakespeare to 7th graders for the American Globe Theatre. We're going to be mounting A Midsummer's Night Dream in about 8 weeks. It's 5 classes back to back and each one focuses on a different scene. I still get a kick that I get to do this for a living! I got done by noon.

I had a wonderful dinner cooked by Dave, Suzi's husband at their place. I had to rehearse with Suz for two upcoming shows that we have. I've been playing music with her on and off for...13 years. Wow! Now that she has her own band, I don't do the music thing that much, unless I'm asked. And it's good practice for me, I also miss it if I don't get to do it.

So, Cole and I stayed for dinner. Jen had to work late. It's wonderful that we can hang out at each other's place. Cole feels like it's his second home, which it is. I guess it's mine too.

Awakening

What a weekend. I'm glad we're in March. It's time to let the snow melt and let us be reborn again.

So, not going to LA was a good thing. I believe things happen for a reason. It was not meant to be. Apparently, Trent in LA, had very taxing weekend and said it wouldn't have been any fun. And I realized that I love my wife more now than I ever have. I mean, I know I love her. But we got to spend Saturday night out-together, as in a date! Suz and Dave had all the kids. (check out her blog to see how it went on her end suzishelton.blogspot.com)We have been so busy lately that we've just forgotten how important we are to each other.

I took her to my favorite "haunt(s)" in Park Slope after we had Mexican at Mezcals. She loves their Margaritas and I just love food. We then went to Black Horse Pub and she got to meet all the characters I've been talking about the last 6 months. It made it easier for her to see this world and for us to "Chelax"! I thought we might stay for just a bit and head to other places, but we were having so much fun that we ended up till late, very late.

The most amazing part of the evening was that we connected and remembered that we were on the same team. Our family dynamic is wonderful with the help of our blended family, but the scheduling is nuts! We get very lost in the shuffle and forget why we are doing this: to be with our kids and partners. They are our best friends along with being family. I was able to let Jen know that I was feeling entrenched and unfocused in our relationship. This was important for me, because even though I think I'm being communicative, I am not. I can be real passive aggressive. I can thank my family genes for that!

After waking up real late in the morning with a naked blond next to me, I was glad that LA didn't happen. WE happened and that's what it's about.